“For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 3:15
Most of us; I suppose, have experienced that moment in driving a car when the present catches up with us. We hadn’t been paying attention to the operation of the vehicle. Realizing that, we found ourselves immediately startled, but then we next found ourselves amazed at how far we have come. We look in the rearview mirror, and then quickly to each side; then back ahead again so we could catch up to where we were in our journey. Then, once we knew we were close to home and had apparently safe passage, we wonder: How many cars did we pass? How many passed us? How many stoplights had we gone through? Did I unknowingly run a red light? The moment we asked that, we again check the rearview, and breathed a sigh of relief. No police were following. If so, we would have surely fallen into despair; thinking he was there to ticket us.
This happens to me often on long car trips, but it is analogous to my journey with Christ Jesus over the winding and hazardous course of my sixty two years, and I write this for those, who like me, have walked with Him in the garden alone. All others will not understand it… well, not from the heart and soul… though, I pray that some might find their heart inflamed, passion for Jesus ignited, and yes, the heavenly engine started.
Anyway, looking back, I traveled great distances when I was not conscious of Christ’s presence. During those periods I either indulged my sin or simply traveled in unawares; having slipped away during the night. This would go on for a time and the Holy Spirit would regain my attention. Sometimes, He would get it after I had run His light, and crashed; which caused me to suffer His sweet affliction and that, despite the harsh and painful consequences. Why a sweet affliction? If you were ever involved in an accident or a near accident and survived, then you understand. In the spiritual sense though, the thought that in the throes and depths of my sin that I should have lost everything of Him was frightening beyond words. If it hadn’t been for Christ, my surety and ransom, and a Father’s grip? I was surely lost, forever. As for running His light, all I can say is that it is wise to stop before the yellow; which is temptation. Though you may pass through the intersection without sin, it is better to avoid it.
Other times, I went merrily along but it wasn’t until I arrived at home that I realized I had spent an hour, day, or maybe weeks outside His presence in my life. Yes, I would then wonder… with such sweetness that I had at home; His peace and gentleness… His daily provisions, why did I ever leave? What was it that attracted me to wander away from prayer, reading God’s Word and fellowship, one with another? All I could do then was run back to my Father’s embrace and stammer, ‘I was wrong. You own the car now, and I took it without asking permission. I’m sorry.’ In either case; whether by crash or wandering, oh, how the grace of God and the words of Jesus would then fall sweetly on my ear:
‘I was with you all along. You are My son; and My Son’s inheritance. How could I not watch over and protect you even when you were oblivious of My presence? As for my love; yes, it is an unconditional love to all that come, but of those who come, it is a tough love… one that allows you to suffer, even unto death if that is My will, the consequences of your sin. But it is a sweet affliction; one of My chastening. For the moment it might seem harsh, but compared to what travels are ahead? You have no idea. I love you son.’
And what else could I say but, ‘I love you dad. I was never all alone.’
